Dear Dennis:

I found your web address in an article in the local newspaper. I went on the web and found it very interesting. I was wondering if there is a B.I.L.Y. support group in the Louisville, Kentucky area. I would be very interested in participating in it with my son. He is now in jail and has been for 7 days. He is hooked on opiates and says he wants help. We have known about this for about six to eight months and have tried everything. I do attend weekly Al-Anon meetings which are very helpful. He is 22 years old, but we are still very involved in his life. He lives at home. I would like to get involved in a family rehab, and from the videos on the website, it looks very encouraging. Thanks for all your help in advance. God Bless. — Sheri

Hi Shari:

The only B.I.L.Y. group we have in Kentucky is in Paducah, which I believe is some distance from Louisville. Al-Anon is a great meeting for you to continue with. Hopefully someday soon you will learn to let go so that your son can move out when he returns home from his stay in jail and begin a life on his own. He certainly is old enough for that. You can always be a part of his life, but he needs to start living on his own. It would best if he attends several 12 step programs when he is released. That way he will be able to obtain a sponsor as well as connect with other new friends that are working a sober program. You cannot do this for him. It must be his choice.

One of the best ways to get him to make changes is if you change. It must start with you. Having him return into the home is INSANITY. INSANITY is doing the same things over and over again and expecting a different result. It's not going to happen. It is time for him to move on. If he wants help as he says, it is available, but he must be the one to seek it and join. Not your responsibility. His!!! Good luck and I will keep him in my prayers. Thanks. — Dennis