Dear Dennis:

I'm a single mother of a 14-year-old son who has recently "become another child." That's the only way I know how to say it. To make my LONG story short, he's been staying with my parents since December 2010. The reason for him staying with them is because we've had big "blow-ups" (confrontations) with one another. He has ADHD, and I think he's Bipolar but hasn't been diagnosed yet. He's very defiant, disobedient, can be destructive, doesn't think realistically, confrontational, disrespectful....the list goes on and on. The reason why I'm writing is because I'm at my limit with him. I've done EVERYTHING that I can think of...even going to counseling doesn't help. I'm almost at a point where I just want to "throw my hands up" and give up. I need some more advice on what to do. And when I say give up, I've been thinking about signing my rights over and letting my parents have him....but he's NOT their responsibility. I don't know WHAT ELSE TO DO!!!!! HELP!!!!!

Dear Ericka:

Pain is Inevitable, Suffering is Optional!! If you want some changes, it has to start with you. First thing is to get yourself some support. You did not mention where you were writing from, but if there is a B.I.L.Y. support group in your area, I would suggest that you get yourself to a meeting (see Find A Meeting). If you are near the Granada Hills, California group, then you can also bring your son to our Youth Support Group.

You should also have an IEP (Individualized Education Program) done for your son at his school and get an Advocate to work with you in the chance of getting him into a residential program out of state that will be funded by Mental Health and the School Board.

You can't give up, even though you feel you have given in many times. Support is the key word here, and we have dealt with many parents with the same or similar issues. Find a support group and get to a meeting as soon as possible. If there is no group in your area, go online and see if there is a support group for parents of an ADHD or even Bipolar youth. Good luck. — Dennis